Secret Multi-Genre Human Hit Generator for $150

I specialize in writing catchy, original songs across multiple genres, from pop to rock, country to EDM, and everything in between.
I've never been interested in becoming famous or being in the spotlight although I have been told my entire life that I "should", be famous because of a gift that I've been blessed with. I have a gift that allows me to write super catchy, "radio sounding", songs with very little effort at all! want to share this gift with you!
SETUP:
This service is meant to be as stripped down, raw and organic as possible. I will be using three things. An instrument, my voice, and an iPhone, so you get the absolute rawest form of my creative process insuring the authenticity of the song.
OFFER:
Here’s what you can expect when you work with me:
1-2 original songs with melodies, lyrics, and chord progressions
2 free revisions per song (multiple revisions can be discussed at extra cost)
Multiple genres to choose from: pop, rock, EDM, rap, country, or anything else you need
Quick turnaround: I deliver the song within 1 hour of accepting payment. Yes 1 HOUR!
I’m here to create more than just music—I’m here to share a gift that I have been keeping to myself for 38 years. Whether it’s a catchy hook, a full verse-chorus structure, or something completely new, I will deliver you a song with full confidence that you'll love it! Not only love it, but become attached to it. I want the song to be YOURS, so I will fully detach myself from the song the moment it's a finished product, but give it every bit of energy I would if I were writing a song for personal reasons.
My Process: Fast, Efficient, and Tailored to You
1. Tell me your vision: Share your ideas, your concepts, and your goals. If you have lyrics that you've tucked away, a poem you'd like to hear and a song, we can start there, or you also have the option, for example to say "I need a hit country song within the hour with a hook that will never leave the person's head that hears it", and that is exactly what you will receive. I guess you could think of me a as a human organic songwriting AI module. Lol!!! (No, but seriously)
2. I will write you a custom song
3. You’ll get 1-2 revisions to refine the song.
4. I’ll send you the final version in MP3 or WAV format
5. You are free to do with the song as you please and I will have absolutely NO ties to it.

Why spend days or weeks writing a song when you can have something ready to go within the hour?